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05 December 2020 @ 03:35 pm


thanks to hikary22 for my YamaButa FO banner

Journal layout update: February 2016.
Layout theme: BTS <3

Previous LJ theme/s:
-Chihayafuru/ Yamada Ryosuke
(2014 - 2016)

- Monochrome no Kiss
(In the art of knowing when to quit, I dislike your conceited kisses)
(w/ YG Leaders for header banner)

(2010 - 2014)
- Prisoner of Love/Last Friends
(Under lock and key)
(2009 - 2010)

I am: : flirtyflirty
listening to: : hoshi wo mezashite - NEWS
18 August 2016 @ 03:49 pm
"I know it seems pathetic to not have a dream like everyone / 'Everything's going to be alright if you go to university and do as we tell you' / I believed in those words, but I'm living because I can't die" - So Far Away (Feat. 수란 (SURAN) (translation by @papercrowns)

Min Yoongi aka Suga aka Agust D finally dropped his mixtape and I'm just overwhelmed by a tide of emotions. It's no secret that I fell in love with BTS' music because of the beat and their song messages which are always so meaningful amd unafraid of tackling topics that may be considered as taboo by others. But this Agust D mixtape has totally wrecked me, burned me, and resurrected me.

I've been very depressed recently to the point of thinking about suicidal stuff and I just want everything to end, this life, this suffering. But Suga's mixtape saved me. It was like a slap in the face, a wake up call of sorts. I am not alone. I, like him, can overcome this. That's what I have been thinking since I first heard the mixtape and really took in his story, his issues, everything.

This is why I want to thank Min Yoongi for being so brave of baring his soul, his life to us in this mixtape. Heck, it isnt even being sold and I felt as if I am trespassing on him with this precious mixtape. But he's so generous, so real. Thank you.

This also goes to Bangtan whose music had been my strength the first time I learned of them and has continued to be my inspiration.

I had been so blessed being able to see them upclose and live last July 30 during EPILOGUE IN MANILA. It was indeed one of the most beautiful moments in my life. I cannot wait to see them again on Sept 3 as I continue being thankful for the wonderful music they put out for us.

I hope that people who are experiencing or has experienced being in the same situation as Agust D, as me, as others, would eventually find their strength to overcome this srlf loathing, this depression as well.

Let's do our best, together.
listening to: : 방탄소년단 - 마지막
12 June 2016 @ 09:38 pm
I haven't forgotten about this blog, trust me. I am just too lazy to update. Haha.
I am more active on twitter nowadays so you can follow me on my main @dreamaze09 or the fanbase I co-manage with other ARMYs @btsmanilaph

I got hooked deeper into BTS after my last post. I am so happy for their continued growth. Though it's not always rainbows and butterflies, I am glad they are able to go through and beat those obstacles in their path. Same with the fandom, its fuckin toxic, but there's loads of great things too so I am not losing hope 😉

Plus,I will be attending their concert on July 30, I can not wait to see them live and be amazed 😍 061313, Happy 3rd birthday 방탄소년단! Even though I was late joining your journey, I am so happy for you guys.


Moving on...

I feel like I'm not going anywhere, like... My batchmates are getting married and stuff, and here I am, doing the same things I am doing since 9 years ago (only diff is I am working now). I don't know what to feel honestly. I don't feel as if I need to think of getting married or something, but there is that kind of pressure still in the back of my mind.

Like what was said in TOMORROW,I think I am at that 'pause' point right now, but I really don't feel the need to press 'play' any time soon. Perhaps when I am ready, I will. Please don't take this away from me. #YoungForeverAnthemPlays 😝
listening to: : 방탄소년단 - Save Me
02 February 2016 @ 07:19 pm
Yeap, It's been 9 years. I've been blogging on and off for 9 years. Fangirling for 10 years (albeit different fandoms).

What has changed since then?
I met alot of friends whom I'll never meet if I hadn't been a fangirl.
I spent some fortune on fandom merchandise + my trips to Japan and Korea
I got into some shitty fights because of fandom war
I was an immature fan who eventually matured (IDK, REALLY)
My standards on men became relatively..ugh..higher.

Which is why this hasn't changed one bit:
..I'm still friggin single. 10 years in various fandoms. 10 years single. AMEN.

I don't really regret it. It has been a roller coaster ride. Maybe I'll meet someone soon...or not. I don't know, I really am not thinking much about it (though my family has been pestering me since I am "25").

Now I'm into another fandom that I have discovered recently. They started off and I just got back into HSJ fandom in 2013. I was telling myself, you're getting older and you're still gonna fangirl again? OVER A VERY YOUNG GROUP? But wth, I love their music.

It's their music that SPEAKS to me. This time around, it's not just the looks, their voices, their performances...but it's the music and the messages they send through their songs. I have never fallen so deep in a fandom in such a short period of time. They're not just idols but artists. Even though I am late. I am very glad I discovered them. Please let me introduce these boys to you:

Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS/Bulletproof Boyscouts)

Thank you Bangtan for the wonderful music you put out. I'm sure you'll be much bigger in the future considering it has only been a little over 2 years since your debut. I especially love the youth concept for The Most Beautiful Moments in Life Pt.1 and Pt.2 as I can identify myself with the songs and the stories within it. I'll never regret stanning this group :)

Sorry I babbled on and this is so long already. But if you guys don't know who BTS is yet, give them a chance and check them out. You don't need to become their fan to be inspired with their songs' messages.

Thanks for reading this old fangirl(fanwoman?) R&R.
I am: : melancholymelancholy
listening to: : Whalien 52 - BTS
26 January 2016 @ 06:30 pm
So, I haven't been updating my LJ again. Nothing new with that.

But alot has happened since my last post about my trip to Seoul and I'll be giving you guys a run down on the updates (not like you care, but I just want to write it down.lol):

- I said I won't go back to Korea after my trip, I fuckin take that back. I'll go back
- I got out of the HSJ fandom (yet again). I mean, I still love them to bits and yamabuta is still precious but, I got into a new fandom.
- I fuckin became a BANGTAN trash. Yeah. I got back to kpop fandom-- BTS (Bangtansonyeondan) specifically. They really blew up in 2015 and I got hooked.
- Hence, I will go back to Korea this year (if my money permits it.lol)
- I changed jobs like 3 times last year. It's crazy. I'm crazy.
- I really don't know what to do with my life. I'm 25 and I'm still fuckin confused.

... I curse alot. I'm sorry. I guess that's another thing that resulted from experiences from year 2015. LOL

Well, I can't think of anything more. But I really do hope 2016 will be kind to me. Maybe I'll get the answer to my confusion (hmmm).

..Oh and I wasn't able to go back to Japan last year. I mean, I have tickets booked for Tokyo last october and for Hongkong last Nov ad both were cancelled. Tickets have been paid already. Ugh. I'm just praying it wont happen this year as I'm planning a MNL-ICN-KIX-MNL trip later this year. I probably won't be able to see Bangtan (like how I fucking didn't last year because I still don't know them during my trip). I wont even try to enter those fansign events as the number of albums I need to buy to get in is ridiculous. XDDD

Well, that's all. Ihope 2015 has been better for you guys. Don't follow my example. I'm bad. hahaha
listening to: : If I Ruled The World - BTS
29 December 2015 @ 04:51 pm

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Is at: : Pi's room
I am: : amusedamused
For my last entry about my Seoul trip, please pardon my stupidity. Haha

I. Fail. I. Am. So. Stupid.
I shouldve done this one on my second day, but I didnt know my fifth day in Seoul is a special day since it is the emperor's bday or something...and the hanbok experience is closed on weekends and on special holidays. Stupid hime. So yeah, I wasnt able to experience wearing hanbok *cries*

Since my trip back to Manila is around 9pm, I decided to visit one more area before going to the airport... ;)

I freakin looooove the streets near Ehwa University. I enjoyed sometime window shopping hahaha. Then I just walked from there to Sinchon and from Sinchon to Hongdae (while dragging my suitcase). It was a really long walk and almost gave up, but I decided to just walk all the way and use my money for a snack in Hongdae. Great decision. LoL.



I did not really do much so when I got to the airport, I had 3~4 hours before boarding so I also explored the airport. I love how they incorporate as much Korean House aesthetic in the airport. Picture galore for me. Hahahaha. I also watched High School love on while waiting for my flight. Thank heavens for free FAST wifi. ;P

All in all, I couldnt say that this trip is the best, but I was happy I got to see Seoul and experience it...and bond with Tna-neechan *hug* Seoul is a wonderful city and Im just thankful I was given the opportunity to see and experience it myself.

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So day 3 started out pretty bad and was salvaged in the latter part. I mean, it was so-so at the beginning, went pretty bad, then became good. Haha.

I started my day in Gangnam/Apgujeong area hunting for kpop agencies and I was able to find Cube and JYP. Unfortunately, SM Town moved so I wasnt able to see it. I decided to go to Express Bus Terminal for some cheap finds, but my mood became sour. I dont want to sound bias, but I have to say, Koreans need to improve on hospitality and some basic manners. I have noticed it the first day, alot of people bump into you or something and they dont even give you a second glance. Or when you meed to pass and theyre blocking the way, they wont even move a bit, those are just some of the things. Honestly, that was a turn off for me. I never experienced any of these problems in Japan. And whenever I bump into someone, they would look back and say sumimasen or something. So yeah, Korea is bad at these. (This is just my opinion guys).

So then I immediately went to Namsangol Hanok Village instead and was pretty glad at what I saw there. For me it is loads better than Bukchon Hanok Village. I definitely recommend it. And it is also free ;)


After that I took the bus to N Seoul tower and spent the rest of my evening there. It was heavenly. I just wish I had someone special with me there. All those couples would bring you that feels hahahahah. One thing though, the steep incline on the last part of the climb was pretty ridiculous. I almost kissed the ground when I reached the top. Halfway there, I just wanted to roll back down and never get up. Ahahahaha


DAY 4 was pretty great. I was able to meet with Tna neechan (camr_jemr) in Myeongdong in the afternoon :) before that though, I went to the Korean War Memorial and enjoyed looking at the war vehicles (for lack of other term in my vocabulary haha). I loooove it. Then I went to Seoul Station a bit hoping to see the panda exhibition in Seoul Square but it was nowhere to be found :(

In Myeongdong,neechan and I went around a bit and had our dinner (Korean cold noodles) it was yummy and the chopsticks hate me hahahaha. After that we went to Coex mall where the SM Town is located. We fangirled there til late nigt before parting ways. I'll surely miss her :s


Anyway, tomorrow is another day and I hope to see more of what seoul has to offer. Goodnight minna.
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I am: : contentcontent